Twisted
by Airrei
Summary: Slight Shizaya, some spoilers. He contemplates the relevancy between those he chooses to be relevant to. Everyone understands each other not through the mind, but through experiences.


-Note- Been so long since I wrote. Been on a slight writers block, but I am not dead...yet. xD  
Slight ShizuoxIzaya. Mostly an Ikebukuro relay. Please point out any mistakes freely, and hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara or any of the references to other media (It's Hetalia for Erika's turn).

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Twisted

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The ticking of the clock meshed together with his heartbeat to the point that he could no longer tell which sound came from which. Was it his heart that ticked twice or the clock that pounded once? The room spun around him, but he was the one spinning it. His seat twirled and twirled underneath, and he wondered. Even if he didn't move an inch, in 365 days, 6 hours and 7 seconds, he would have taken a full trip around the sun.

Every living and non-living things were relevant that way, each made of building blocks called atoms, which could be broken down to plasma and fused together to create new variations. Though according to many leaders, that kind of similarity would never matter, and instead they would create horrendous disputes with atom-made weapons claiming over land that never remembered belonging to anyone.

Same way that Ikebukuro never had any say in whether it wanted Izaya there or not, but Shizuo chased him out anyway.

If Karisawa Erika had a say in this, she would say that land had living entities that were more often than not, beautiful boys. If she was not abruptly stopped by one of her three companions after this initial exclamation, she would continue on to explain that Japan had a name called Honda Kiku, and he was probably gay with England or America.

And that was where the relevancy breaks down, because Izaya wouldn't understand a single word that came out of her mouth unless he took time to look it up on a search engine. Even if the building blocks are the same, everyone soon comes to realize that what's inside the other's minds are a different thing altogether. Not a lot of people can explain exactly what they are made up of, so they can't use the same method of analogy to compare two different minds.

Since people were destined to think in more complex manners than most of the other living organisms, each one of them started to create their own bent reality separated from the rest of the world. In other words, the prisoner of their own minds; sometimes paradise.

Sonohara Anri could testify for this phenomenon called delusion, where even the most hideous of past could be changed into a surreal reality. Her parents are gone, and no one besides her knows what happened to them. If she chooses not to speak of it, that history would eventually be drowned away, and even if she overwrites them with her own fantasies, no one would be able to tell the truth apart from the made up.

If Izaya had the same opportunity as Anri, he might have wanted to rewrite bits of his past that made him into the man of today. Maybe that was part of the reason he warned Kida Masaomi that each step and breath he took had to be done carefully, because the past would always haunt its owner in the future.

Just like how Ryuugamine Mikado might be wishing he never created the team called Dollars. He created it knowing things in his everyday life would change, more likely for the worse, but didn't run away even when he had the chance to. He couldn't because he was addicted to the thrill of living a life where each day was a mental struggle. Yet, even through all the twisted infatuation of something new and exciting, he was still a young boy with a gentle conscience that cared about his friends; he could even love.

Noticing this, Izaya gave the boy a reminder that one day, if he kept this up, this thrill would be his ordinary life. Another warning from his personal experience. The informer couldn't exactly pinpoint a day in which his life started to screw up…maybe he could point out to several, but not exactly a certain one. He wouldn't say it went downhill from there, he thought it suited him. He was also not someone kind enough to steer a lost soul into the other direction. In fact, he made it happen because he was taking his life to another level, unsatisfied by his own twisted days.

If he was the bad guy, he was going to continue to be the bad guy, maybe until the whole world was against him. Maybe then, he wouldn't be able to seek any more thrill from the humans he loved oh-so-much and challenge the gods. Or…a certain death goddess.

Celty Sturluson, despite being a headless fairy, acted quite humanly. She fell in love, she made friends, and she did her work, minding her own business, remaining entrapped in her own thought streams. Soon enough, her existence became more or less as awkward outwardly as Harima Mika with her scarred neck.

Izaya let this go. It was quite boring for him to see something otherworldly become worldly, just like how thrills started to sink into daily routine to become normal. He wondered though, if she were to regain her head, would she go back to becoming interesting? It was a comforting thought for him…he guessed.

On the other hand, Kishitani Shinra didn't seem to think so. Shinra detested the possibilities that could remain in that head, and all he really wanted was the world he and Celty lived in to become so twisted that their love would be normal. Above anything else, his feelings for the dullahan was his top priority.

Perhaps that was the reason Kadota Kyouhei joined the blue squares. He was quite the normal man trying to live peacefully in his own way, and his instincts told him that the best way was to blend in.

Izaya liked people like Kadota the best. Those who lived on their lives doing what was expected out of them, but at the same time, knowing what they wanted to do and would do it when called for. Perhaps giving him a strange nickname like Dotachin was a sign of that sort of twisted affection, and there were only a rare few he called by nicknames.

Shizu-chan…

Heiwajima Shizuo was the opposite of Orihara Izaya.

Born into an unfair setting of the twisted world with abnormal strength, he easily made the world his enemy. Yet, his path took the opposite direction of the informer.

Shizuo would never understand why normal human being, Izaya, would throw away his comfortable life to become a monster.

Izaya would never understand why monster, Shizuo, would throw away that thrilling life to become a normal human being.

They didn't want to, and they watched each other throw everything away. Shizuo decides he wants to kill Izaya to spare the world of another monster like him, but he realizes he can't. Perhaps his anger isn't enough to purge the feeling that somehow the informer can still be saved. Izaya could easily stay out of Shizuo's way, but he doesn't. Maybe he's wishing that he could still be a part of the monster's life.

And they both mistake that jealousy for hate. Then they confuse that hate for love.

Twisted, twisted, love.

Izaya's heartbeat starts to slow down, and the chair starts to spin lazily, dragging his heels in momentum. He's breathing normally again, and he smirks to himself. He's going to visit Ikebukuro again tomorrow…Shinjuku just isn't as fun.

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Thanks for reading. Any type of feedback would be really appreciated, if you have the time.


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